17-year-old puts pregnant stepmother in her place when she asks for help after trying to take her mother's place despite their failing relationship: ‘She reminded me that I knew my mom for less than five years, and I had known her almost as long now’

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jun 23, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

It's alright to wish for or want to have a relationship with your stepchild, but it's not about replacing someone or proving you're "better" than either of their biological parents; it's about being a steady, sincere presence in that child's life. Relationships aren't all about how long you've known someone, and certainly claiming that you have more importance in someone's life than someone like their own mother just because you've known them for longer is somewhat unhinged.

This stepmother was certainly going about it the wrong way when she sought to insert herself into the Mother's Day celebrations at her teenage stepdaughter's school, seeking to go in the place of the girl's grandmothers, who normally stood in for her late mother. This cut deepened when the stepmother sought to claim "motherhood" simply because of her marital status to the girl's father, despite the fact that the girl did not want it to be so. Her continued insistence on doing nothing to help her case or the girl's feelings about her. When she became pregnant, she expected the teen to help her around the home, something that the teen felt quite sour about due to the state that their relationship had reached.

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  • 01

    "AITA for not helping my pregnant stepmother and letting my dad deal with her parents who hate him instead?"

    I (17F) never had a good relationship with my stepmother. We had an okay one at first. For the first two years of her and my dad dating it was actually fine. But things changed after their second year of dating. That year around Mother's Day my school started doing a concert for all the mom's and grandma's in our lives. My stepmother, who was only dad's girlfriend at the time, wanted to go instead of my two grandmas. I
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  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10520392192
    via Brooke Cagle

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    didn't want her instead of them and she was hurt. After a couple of weeks of her wanting to go instead of them she asked if she could go with them and I said no. When she asked me why I told her it was for mom's or grandma's and she wasn't my mom. She didn't like me saying that and dad actually took my side and told her she should accept my answer. They stayed together but we didn't like each other after that.
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  • 04
    When her and my dad got married a year and a half later she asked me if it was finally enough to be considered my mom. Then she reminded me that I knew my mom for less than five years and I had known her almost as long now and she would be around for many more years. I told her that didn't make her my mom and it wasn't enough because I already had a mom.
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  • 05
    My dad decided we should all start some family therapy. I think his hope was we would be closer at the end and work through our issues. But we ended therapy after two years with more issues than not. She was bothered by the fact there was no room at the table (quoting therapy speak here) for her to be equal in my eyes as my dad was or even my mom, because I did have a really good
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  • 06
    relationship with my dad and only remembered my mom a little so I felt differently about them. In my eyes she was not as important as my grandmothers either. I didn't say it like that in therapy but that's how I feel and it's how she took what I said.
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  • 07
    Our relationship turned into a way deeper dislike when she had three miscarriages in about two years. They were all a bit later (12-14 weeks) and they announced her pregnancies so I knew about them. But my overall reaction was never what she wanted to see from me. It wasn't upsetting to me or something I mourned. I'll be honest that I didn't really want them to have children together. I
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  • 08
    never said that or acted like her miscarriages were good, I'd never do that anyway. But she could see my lack of grief and it angered her. We fought repeatedly. Our relationship hasn't really changed at all since then. I know she still wants it to be different but I deeply dislike her and even though I think she cares somewhere underneath the dislike, I don't. Her dislike has turned into her being pretty awful to my grandparents, specifically my grandmothers and dad's relationship with his paren
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  • 09
    On her parents. They hate my dad. They hate him because he hasn't forced me to accept her as my new mom and them as my replacement grandparents for my mom's parents. To them my dad is like the biggest failure for not giving their daughter a real happy family. My dad knows they hate him and so does my stepmother. She still loves dad and defends him but it makes things awkward between the four of them. They love her though and when they're around they do nice stuff for her.
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  • 10
    My stepmother's pregnant again and she's under a lot of medical supervision to make this pregnancy stick. She takes some medication and she's got to do way less than she normally would. Including staying off her feet mostly. When her and my dad were told this he wanted me to help her out when he was at work. He told me it was that or her parents
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  • 11
    would be over all the time and things would be tense and awkward 24/7. I told him I didn't want to help her and that he knows our relationship is bad. He said he did know that but he thought I would maybe start to feel differently now that I'll hopefully be a big sister at the end of this pregnancy. I told him it changed nothing for me. So her parents are now over every day.
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  • 12
    The other day I got home from work, my stepmother had sent her parents out for food. When I walked by the living room she called out to me and asked why I found the time to work but not take care of/help her out. I ignored her and kept walking and she called me a selfish b*tch and she told me I had destroyed my dad by
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  • 13
    refusing to help and I was the reason he had to deal with her parents being here all the time. Then last night I heard her and my dad talking and she apologized for how her parents treat dad. He was upset but said it was okay and when she mentioned me he told her to leave it. He sounded really sad and I never wanted to hurt my dad. But I can't stand the woman he loves and I can't stand the idea of helping her. AITA for that though?
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  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10520392704
    via Joshua Rawson-Harris

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    lemnistatic Your stepmother sounds exhausting. It's been YEARS. She needs to drop the "mom" thing You've made your feelings clear. Your dad enabling this whole mess isn't helping either. He married her not you. He should deal with the fallout, including her ridiculous parents. It's not your responsibility to fix their family drama. You have a job and a life. Frankly I'd be annoyed too.
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  • 16
    Unhappy_Wishbone_551 Let me get this straight, she asked why you had time for your job? That's some weird audacity. NTA.
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  • 17
    Cute-Profession 9983 Your dad is kind of TA in this situation. He never should have married a woman who battles with his child
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  • 18
    These-Record8595 So why is her parents choosing to hate your dad your fault?! And why us them and their daughter hating you your fault? Your dad us spineless. Ni can't imagine what will happen if this baby is born. Better prepare yourself for the worst. Talk to your grandparents, you'll need backups, your dad isn't willing to put his foot down and just wants to maintain peace, in those scenarios the nasty and loudest wins
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  • 19
    ProfPlum Didit NTA and you should absolutely tell your dad that she called you a selfish btch. That is not okay.
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family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita AITAH infant kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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